The Secret Notebook Page 22

  Part of her, an inner reckless streak, wanted to take the opportunity to be with Justin – just be with him. No future to consider, no past to throw a mental hurdle… It was tempting.

  She set down a mug of tea on his bedside table and as she turned, the door to the en suite opened and steam billowed out around him. He had a bath towel fastened around his waist, wet hair darkened, lashes spiked.

  His eyes held hers as he moved into the space before her, heat from Justin’s just-showered skin seemed to permeate her robe. ‘Izzie,’ he whispered and she remained stock-still for a second when his palm moved to her waist. The breath caught in her chest.

  She looked into his smoky hazel-green eyes. He wasn’t asking for anything; he just spoke her name. Whatever had happened in the past, she knew she wanted him at that moment. Izzie’s fingers reached around his neck to pull him closer, to pull his lips down to hers. She didn’t care about anything other than melting into his kiss, his arms holding her tightly, bringing her closer, acknowledging with her mouth that she wanted him, too.

  A sharp thrill shot through her when he groaned with pleasure at her acquiescence.

  He raised his mouth from hers for a moment, gave her a small, questioning smile. In response, she again raised her mouth to his.

  She could enjoy this for what it was.

  She touched her lower lip as Justin raised his head, then touched his lower lip with the same finger. She traced his jaw and ran her fingers into his damp hair. He pulled her to him again, kissed her as though he couldn’t get close enough, his mouth hot and hungry. Delicious tingles rushed over Izzie’s skin as she savoured the familiar yet new Justin; sexy and so sensual it made her gasp as his palms moved to her hips and drew her against his arousal. Her pulse sped and her lower belly clenched with a physical need that had been locked up tight for years.

  She was aware but did not want to admit that her locked up emotions were pushing closer and closer to the surface. But this, now – this was what she wanted. It overrode every other sensation.

  They kissed, the sensual embrace making Izzie’s nerve endings sizzle with pleasure. Their fingers interlaced, putting a momentary space between them, then, palms touching slowly yet insatiably, letting go and then holding one another so tightly…

  She hadn’t felt this kind of powerful attraction towards any other living soul, not for years.

  Not since they’d been lovers.

  The feel of his hot torso beneath her fingertips, his firm, warm muscles, the dip of his spine as she ran her fingers over his back, his arousal pressing hot and hard against her.

  God, she wanted him so badly, her need for him fiercer than anything she’d known before. She was a little afraid of letting herself go, to let loose the tsunami of passion threatening to burst free. Yet, overwhelmingly, she wanted to reach out and take what she truly wanted.

  Her body arched towards his and they held each other tightly. She breathed in, her mouth and nose against his shoulder, the decision instant.

  Justin’s fingers reached down and unfastened the belt of her robe. He paused and looked into her eyes for a long moment, asking a silent question; Izzie gave a slight smile and a nod, a sharp mixture of nerves and excitement causing her nerve endings to tingle relentlessly.

  The hotel robe and towel dropped to the carpet, their torsos crushing together, mouths kissing more urgently, hands exploring.

  Izzie thought how the sensation of skin against skin was always so tantalising.

  His mouth found hers again and she laced her fingers around his neck to give Justin unfettered access to her.

  ‘Izzie,’ he whispered against her lips.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Don’t think I can carry you up the ladder.’ He gave a soft laugh against her mouth, his words a scintillating reminder of their first time making love in the loft.

  ‘Don’t think I could climb the ladder.’ She smiled and he lifted her against him and sank down onto the sumptuous double bed, so she straddled him.

  Izzie’s hands roved over his shoulders and torso as she looked into his eyes, his own hands and fingers touching, pausing, exploring.

  Heat mounted within and she sat up so he could take her nipples into his mouth, first one, then the other. He then pulled her fully against him again, his mouth and tongue finding hers.

  This was what she wanted: to put out the fire that surged between them. His fingers ran lightly over her neck and shoulders, held her tightly against him, and they both revelled in the delicious sensations coursing through them. The fingers of one of his hands shifted to frame her cheek as their tongues moved hotly against one another’s.

  Izzie wanted him inside her so much, yet there was something so tantalising about just exploring slowly, taking their time.

  ‘Justin…’ She gasped with pleasure at his touch.

  Driven by a need to drive him crazy with desire, Izzie broke their kiss and laid a trail of light kisses down his belly, then kissed his erection as it twitched with pleasure.

  ‘Izzie.’ He reached down and pulled her back up so she lay atop him, her legs splayed to the side of his hips.

  Within seconds, he protected them and held her hips as she slowly took him inside, the sensation so overwhelming it took her breath away.

  She thought briefly that there must be some kind of erotic memory between them because the intervening years hadn’t made them forget just what they each wanted and needed. The pleasure built and they reached an incredible climax at the same time.

  ‘You okay?’ she asked, wriggling to his side, running a finger around his shadowed chin.

  ‘Just fine.’ A crooked smile lit his eyes and his features. ‘You?’

  ‘All good.’

  ‘Morning, Izzie.’ She was sleepy, warm and happy as she became fully aware of her nakedness. She lay close beside him, uncertain for a second whether this was the real world, or some perfect parallel creation of her own dreams.

  Slowly, in case it was real, she fully opened her eyes to see Justin leaning up on his elbow, looking down at her.

  His smile made her smile in response, swept aside any hesitation to enjoy the moment.

  ‘Morning,’ she whispered, mouth curving when he bent down to kiss her.

  As his hands roved deliciously over her curves and held her against his arousal, she knew she hadn’t felt this raw need for a man – ever – in her life. She was no innocent when it came to sex, but she was new to this kind of scorching need.

  They lay face-to-face and Izzie saw his eyes darken with sheer pleasure as his palms explored her, fingers heightening her own pleasure. Then he held her hips as he took them both to the peak of a cataclysmic orgasm.

  Aftershocks rippled through her body, gripping him, making her gasp until, slowly, their breathing returned to normal.

  ‘Wow,’ Justin whispered against her neck as he lay, spent, half across her. ‘Just … wow.’

  Holding her firmly in one arm, he eased Izzie to his side. ‘That was something else. You okay?’

  ‘Absolutely, more than okay. Yes, and yes – wow.’

  ‘Thinking maybe we should shift ourselves and join the crowd for breakfast?’

  ‘We should.’ She raised her head from the pillow and kissed Justin lightly, a streak of mischievousness making her touch his shoulder and add, ‘In a minute?’

  And she loved it when he laughed against her mouth in agreement.

  The cab dropped her home close to lunchtime and she twisted in the seat and kissed Justin full on the mouth and thanked him for a great time.

  ‘See you later, Izzie.’

  They planned to have a takeaway meal at Izzie’s later and to finish reading Molly’s notebook together as this was the last opportunity they would have to do so.

  He had to finish editing and sorting the wedding photographs for Mick and Janey, and do a final check on his gear to make sure it was ready to travel. On Boxing Day, Justin would decamp with all of his photography gear to the hotel at Manchester
Airport so he was on the spot for his flights to New Zealand the following day.

  Once she’d had a brew, Izzie spent the early afternoon having catch-up video calls with her pals in London, including her boss, Eddie.

  They were all at their homes, or dashing round the shops, getting ready for Christmas Day and doing some last-minute wrapping, cooking – and, with Ruby, sleeping.

  Izzie left Ruby until last as she already knew Ruby never got out of bed before noon on a Sunday.

  ‘I can’t wait to see you, Rubs.’

  In response, she put her finger to her lips. ‘Shh, too much gin last night… Great gig though, Paul’s band was playing at Koko’s in Camden.’

  Laughing, they exchanged news. Izzie told her pal she’d been to a wedding of old friends and that they’d danced until late and then all met up for breakfast.

  ‘Oh, sounds lovely.’ Ruby rubbed her eyes. ‘And were you dancing with any hot blokes?’

  Izzie laughed. ‘Of course, I’ll show you photos when I’m back.’ She still felt full of fizz at having had such a good time.

  ‘Fab. I’ll look forward to that. Paul says hi, and we both wish you a lovely Christmas. What are you doing tomorrow?’

  Izzie explained she had been invited to join the neighbours and their son for a late afternoon Christmas dinner. ‘I intend to have a long walk on the prom, then a relaxing evening with the neighbours. Then, I’ll be finishing straightening up Nan’s bungalow and I’ve a couple of estate agents lined up to value it pretty early in the New Year.’

  ‘Are you putting it on the market then?’

  ‘Yes.’ Izzie had photographed every inch of the bungalow both before and after decorating and had packed just one bag of keepsakes.

  The most important keepsake, of course, was Nan’s notebook, which she would keep with her always. She would treasure it, take it out and read it through again and again, she had no doubt about that. Izzie also had the feeling that she would notice something new and different each time – a sketch on the edge of a page – a memento or words she hadn’t quite caught the meaning of the first time of reading through.

  ‘Then I’ll be travelling back.’ Izzie and Ruby shared a beaming smile across the ether.

  ‘Coming home.’ Ruby nodded. ‘That’s great!’

  ‘I know.’ Izzie felt a pang deep inside at the thought of leaving her beloved Blackpool. She still felt a powerful pull to the seaside town and the rekindled friendships she’d found here, not to mention the romance with Justin. But she squashed that down, thinking how lovely it would be to join her other friends again, her work family.

  She knew Nan would be happy whatever she did.

  If you’re happy, I’m happy.

  Izzie had asked Justin if there was anything he’d like for Christmas, preferably something useful for his trip. He’d said a lens cleaning kit would be greatly appreciated and had shown her where she could get one locally.

  She’d wrapped that little box up already, but she had something else in mind – something that reminded her of those hot summer days when they’d been younger.

  Something that was intended to keep him safe on his travels…

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Izzie

  Blackpool, Christmas Eve, 2017

  ‘That was so tasty.’ Izzie offered Justin a wine refill and he thanked her.

  They cleared up the containers from their Chinese takeaway, washed plates, stashed them away and Justin checked his watch.

  ‘I must keep my eye on the time this evening, Izzie, as I have to get everything checked over at home before I hit the hay tonight. And I need to leave time to finish the wedding photos so I can drop them off to Mick and Janey before I make my way over to my folks tomorrow. I’ve still not finished.’

  ‘Completely understand that. I’ve started packing up ready for going back to London.’ Izzie thought how delicious it was to just spend time with Justin. She was so glad that their hot night hadn’t thrown any barriers between them.

  ‘You going by train?’

  ‘Yup, I’m going to get myself a large wheelie case in Cleveleys.’

  ‘Shame I won’t be here; I’d have given you a lift home.’

  ‘That’s a kind thought but I’ll be fine. How are you getting to Manchester for your flight?’

  ‘Tony is giving me a lift – I’d an Uber booked, but he insisted; he and Kay are combining it with a visit to her family in Manchester.’

  ‘Be rude not to then.’ Izzie gave a little laugh. ‘Have you time to have a last read of Molly’s notebook?’

  ‘I thought you’d never ask.’ He turned to face her; his smile powerful enough to blast some powerful light into her soul. ‘Let’s do it.’

  Chapter Thirty

  Molly

  Blackpool, Saturday June 9, 1945

  There’s much relief that the war is over, my Dear Diary, though much of the news in the papers is still war-related; we read that injured servicemen who were in the local hospitals were ferried closer to home either by hospital trains or by road.

  Some mornings, whilst Marian is home, she keeps an ear out for Tom whilst I slip over the road to help Enid for an hour or two in the boarding house.

  Once I finish, I am always eager to return to Tom; I find I miss him even though I am away from him for only a few hours.

  When I went to wake him from his nap earlier, he was waiting to greet me. ‘Hello, Tom. What’s to do?’ I leaned against the cot rails, and realised he was smiling. Then his podgy little fists pulled himself to his feet; he looked surprised and laughed up at me.

  ‘Oh, you’re a clever boy, aren’t you?’ He laughed his bonny, toothless grin and it made me laugh, too.

  ‘Whatever else happens, Tom, I’m lucky to have you.’ I lifted him out and carried him over to Enid’s as she’d invited us both for an afternoon break – along with Marian, who was already there.

  Enid made a suggestion then that when Jack came back home, the pair of us should consider taking on the Bing Lea. She said we could take over the attic rooms, which would give plenty of room for all three of us. She said she’d been thinking she’d like to take things a bit easier, get a little bungalow on the coast…

  I loved it when anyone took for granted that Jack would come home; it gave me a flame of hope. I said I thought it’d be something for Jack and me to consider together, see if he fancied doing that.

  ‘Thing is, Jack could always get another job out of season. A lot of the blokes do – like your dad did,’ Enid piped up. ‘And there’s always maintenance to do on the rooms.’

  I set Tom down on the carpet so he could crawl about and socialise; Tom grinned that joyous toothless grin when they told him how clever he was to pull himself to his feet.

  We chatted for a while and then I scooped Tom up and left Enid, Marian and Agnes to chew the fat. ‘I’ll get out for some air whilst it’s fine. Do you want anything from the shop?’

  ‘I could do with some soap if there’s any.’ Enid took her ration book from the sideboard drawer and handed it over to me along with a thrupenny bit. ‘And a thrupenny worth of cabbage greens if there’s any about, go nice with tonight’s pie.’

  ‘Have a good blow,’ three cheery voices accompanied me out of the back room to the wide hallway where I’d parked Tom’s pram.

  I pushed the pram towards the prom, the springs squeaking slightly as I crossed the road. I wondered how long the ration books would be used and thought how thankful I was that the fresh sea air wasn’t rationed and nothing would ever stop me enjoying it.

  Tom looked sleepy, his eyelids thickening as he fought against them closing.

  Trams trundled along the tracks and I wondered idly if Dora was working this day. I thought she probably was, otherwise she would have joined us at Enid’s. I neared the tracks, intending to walk to North Pier along the prom with the aim of getting the cabbage from the grocer’s near there.

  The footpaths were busy, the weather calm and I stopped to chat to Kat
herine, Dora’s sister, as she got off the tram.

  ‘Oh, Tom’s coming on lovely, isn’t he?’ She leaned over the pram and offered him her finger, but he was sleepy and gave just a brief grin. Laughing, she said, ‘I must hurry, I’ll pop round later to Mum’s for a proper catch-up. I’ve got the afternoon off so thought I’d do a visit; I’m hoping Mum will cook!’

  I laughed, said cheerio and told her Marian was at Enid’s having a cuppa and that she should join them. ‘They’ll be pleased to see you.’

  As I carried on and looked out to the sparkle-topped blue-grey sea, the sound of the gentle suck and flop of the waves on the sea wall was so soothing, as was the warmth of the sun delicious on my shoulders and face. I put the brake on the pram wheels and drank in the view, breathed the salt laden air deep into my lungs.

  I thought about what my dad had always said: No one’s breathed that air before you do.

  ‘Penny for your thoughts, Molly?’

  My whole body went rigid.

  Was I going mad?

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  Stunned to stillness, I clutched at the side of the pram, convinced it was a cruel trick of my mind.

  This same thing had happened at night, so many times, always followed by a fast plummet into deep disappointment.

  But then a shadow fell across me as he moved to my side.

  ‘Hello, Molly.’

  I spun around.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  I stood, staring, my mouth opening.

  Jack.

  He looked thinner, older, with a jagged scar down his cheek, but those eyes, those deep blue eyes were the same. They glimmered with warmth.

  Without conscious thought, my fingers rose and touched his face, the sensation of seeing his slight smile making the breath hitch in my chest.

  ‘I can’t…’ The words believe it didn’t make it out. Tears rolled hot down my cheeks, cooled by the soft breeze, and his smile broadened into a full-blown Jack grin.